I understand this is not a typical post of mine, but it is a defining period in my life that contributes to the making of myself. And I know with 100% confidence someone will read this and be able to breathe a little better about their own curve balls.
October 28, 2018
Have you ever heard the saying, "we make plans and God laughs" ? The past three years made that saying my prominent reality. I created this blog during my time at UNLV's premedical program as an outlet to speak freely on fitness and a healthy life. It was a positive escape from everything academic. I stopped posting to this blog because I realized my life was NOT healthy and my happiness disappeared.
My last post to this blog was August 10, 2017. Two weeks after my good friend commit suicide only a few days before my birthday. This changed my life immediately. It opened my eyes to a harsh reality I never saw coming.
It kind of pried my eyes open to cruelty and loss. But it led to self reflection.
I acknowledged the fact that my life did not fill me with passion, but pushed me into a locked room and into my own mind. Each day was a little harder to wake up for a long time. It was time. I ended up seeing a therapist after someone passed away in my arms in February 2018. Having someone to talk to and allowing myself to speak about everything that crippled me aloud, enhanced my quality of life. I highly suggest to anyone going through things that are hard to speak on to pursue help. Be proactive even if it means to swallow your pride.
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April 6, 2019
It has taken me over a year to come back and finish this post.
If you didn't already know, I moved back to my hometown in New Jersey. Again, it was time. In proper Hailey fashion I packed up my life in a day and moved across the country. I popped up on my moms door step with no real direction. No job. No car. First time seeing home in over a year. Scared is actually an understatement. This is where I kinda just said screw it I'll figure something out. I locked myself in my basement makeshift room my mom threw together and made a plan. I redirected my life path. At the most unexpected time I met someone who made me appreciate a pure type of love and friendship even if it burned out in what felt like a blink. The the lessons it taught me are irreplaceable and everlasting.
Some days I feel like the universe has broken me into a billion different pieces and been like oops now pick it up or sit in your mess. But no matter what happens whether the loss of an important person or the realization that something needs to change, tomorrow will always be better. No matter how long it takes, the sun always rises.
One day you wake up in that warm cozy feeling and for the first time in a long time everything is OKAY.
And at the end of that day, you recognize that it was everything that made us fall that taught us to fly.
